Holding Heartbreak + Resilience

I’ll never forget the first look of defiance she gave me when the boundary had been set and she didn’t like it. Those large brown eyes piercing into my soul, making me question everything I knew about motherhood up until now. What are you thinking? What has this experience been like for you in the past? Am I doing the right thing to help you navigate this new life you are living at only three years old and grieve what you’ve lost? So many questions and so few clarifying answers.

Elijah has been easy, he can be equally as defiant (as any child can) but simply put he yells at me and 20 seconds later we are good and have moved on, he’s a mini version of me. On the flip side he is deeply loyal and puts high value on one-on-one relationships and the family unit. He feels deeply. I understand him, well, most of how he moves throughout the world, a glimpse of how God has wired him. She has been equally, uniquely crafted by our Maker and I often feel out on an island when it comes to creating this structure and setting boundaries in the midst of grief and transition, but she deserves me learning in the same way I have with Elijah. To understand and help her sit still with something is a lesson we are learning as a family and on the flip side becoming aware of the moments we need to keep moving. But gosh she’s resilient. She teaches me things daily, God has given me such an up close view how close He is to us.

Timing, finances, moments, we’ve seen Him moving through it all.

Elijah and Zoey start school next week and I’m excited to see how she continues to journey through this season. They are the same age, but will be in different classes, as Jon and I, after careful thought and monitoring, felt that space apart would be the greater benefit for them. Grief is not linear and this journey will have moments which probably feel like starting all over again; we’ve found continuing to put new and attainable goals and structure around her and our family is important and we know God is good and faithful.

One prayer request for us in this next week is a legal grant we have interviewed for and should know something about by the end of next week. This would be a big lift financially for us as we work with our attorney towards finalization!

Thank you for being in this with us!

The Woodson

P.S. We cannot wait to share pictures of Z with you all, but until finalization we have to keep her from any online presence.