Creating Our Calming Corners

How we go from all out brawls to relaxed space in just a few minutes.

Having kids of any age is going to result in daily disagreements, fights, and sometimes physical torment; having virtual twins with very different backgrounds enhances that reality ten-fold. Our house would be super calm until it wasn’t. Having them at the same developmental stage means they are fighting for the exact same resources, and if one crosses the line and we decide to intervene – we do balance when we just need to let them work it out – embarrassment is usually the leading emotion as they spiral into sadness + anger.

Now, this usually ends in either or both children not wanting to calm down in the slightest bit, obviously, AND taking time-ins, taking 5 calming breaths in our rooms before we continue were all hit or miss tactics.

One of our therapists through the years mentioned doing calming corners, where it’s fun and styled according to their tastes and helps them breathe in a more relaxing environment before having to enter into conversations and/or further consequences. So after a lot of trial and error with certain ideas we finally decided to implement true calming corners for each kiddo.

We were skeptical about it’s effectiveness truly and will say that sometimes we still get whines about having to go to their calming corners but overall the response when used is worlds better than anything else we’ve tried. There are no long stints on the calming corners just long enough to have a conversation and be able to hear if a consequence is necessary. It’s NOT used as a timeout space, but they do sometimes rest there when they just need a break!

These are both in their rooms and truly tailored to their tastes, here is what we’ve used:

Our Calming Corner Necessities for Z:

• Pink Bean Bag Chair but if I were to upgrade I’d choose this: Memory Foam Bean Bag Chair
• Pink Striped Blanket (This is not exactly the same but close)
• Doll – We’ve recently gotten into more ‘big girl’ dolls and we use this to help teach her about responsibility.
• Books (both the kids love this one about feelings)
• Feelings Pillow – it comes in a set of two so each kiddo has one!
  • You do have to buy the inserts – we got these

Our Calming Corner Necessities for E:

• Dark Blue Blanket pallet
• Giant Dino Stuffy
• Feelings Pillow – as noted before – it comes in a set of two so each kiddo has one!
• Lego’s – this is just the classic set of starter legos!

The kid’s truly love coming into their space when they are having or needing a moment and having something truly private for them. It might not work forever, but we are sure glad it does right now.

Is there anything you’d add to the calming corners?

-J

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