Creating Connections: Consistency + Low Barriers to Entry

Not everyone can afford to go to a nice restaurant and pay a babysitter several times a month in order to create consistency — why has that seemingly become the norm?

We live in an incredibly diverse community. Young families, more established families, empty nesters and a vast array of different cultures and upbringings we have it all; I love it. Regardless of exactly where we live though there are a few things that remain — people want people, people want proximity, people want low barriers to entry.

People Want People

You can try to deny it, but we are literally built and designed for human interaction. It’s why there were so many debates around isolation and its effects during 2020–2021. It’s also why technology creates opportunity for connection but it also creates risk — you have to be wise and careful.

The phrase it takes a village rings all too true. A new mom can’t and shouldn’t have to do everything on her own, neither can a parent with multiple kiddos, yet so many face that reality every single day.

In this day and age, and I think you can probably look back at history and you’ll find similar cycles, you have to fight for relationship. It takes consistency, it takes showing up when you don’t feel like it, it takes being uncomfortable.

And while you might be waiting for that invitation, it might also be time hand out the invitation. Honestly, you can be on both sides of the fence. You won’t get over the awkward, uncomfortable, careful tread as you get to know someone, but remember they are feeling the exact same way so keep digging, and keep showing up.

People Want Proximity

We’ve been really grateful our neighborhood and city has been really focused on parks and community infrastructure. We have multiple playgrounds, parks, and a unity garden within walking distance from our house.

It’s hard to drive an hour away for people you may love but really have to make an effort to see — it’s not practical and it’s definitely not plausible to do multiple times a week. But can you commit to showing up at the playground near you a couple times a week around the same time, our regular rhythm is about an hour after we get home from school. That consistency right in your own neighborhood will help jump start conversations and gives you a launch point for inviting others into that space.

People Want Low Barriers to Entry

Not everyone can fight traffic after work, find and/or afford a babysitter, and a nice restaurant at a consistent enough pace to forge true relationships. And maybe you have neighborhood quarterly events (which are amazing go to them). It may work sometimes in building relationships, but it’s not the day to day life that we truly desire to create this ‘village’ approach.

While some of my community I have now was forged off consistent playground meetups, it doesn’t always give all parents space to also come into community relationships. So what do you do when you want to honor resources and cost while still building authentic community?

Create theme nights and invite everyone right in your own backyard!

Well, maybe you can’t exactly do that, but here are a few ways that might help get the creative juices flowing for exactly how to create these kind of moments with people:

1. Host a scavenger hunt in your hard or in a park nearby. For the price of some printed paper you can bring together kids to go sprinting through the park or yard while you and the other parents enjoy conversation.
2. Set a weekly day for a potluck picnic. Everyone bring one item and spread out your picnic blankets for an evening of food and fun. We usually bring soccer balls and frisbees so the kids can play when they are finished. We did this every Wednesday evening in the spring.
3. Have a s’mores bonfire in the fall/winter. Most likely someone has a fire pit and creating these moments with supplies and skewers was less than $30 for a weekly Tuesday hang. We paired it with reading a kid friendly spooky story to the kids and while we had originally only planned to do 3 weeks, people were eager for another week! The parents got to talk around the fire, the kids got to play and eat s’mores. It was 45 minutes-1 hour each week and people loved it.

What we found: people want to say yes. People want a low an easy bridge to cross to build community. People want people they can feel free to be who they are with.

If people are offering those spaces get uncomfortable and say yes, if you feel like you can make a way for people pick an hour a week and make it happen. You will not regret it and you never know how much beauty God might have in store through those moments.

Have another idea for an easy and consistent community building activity? I would love to hear it.