It’s a Nice Place Holder

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week is coming to a close and I’ve read posts, articles, watched videos, and ultimately done a lot of self reflection from the past 4+ years of this being a part of my story.

A year ago I was sitting outside in downtown Atlanta with some of my best friends watching the Olympic Marathon Trials, 9 months pregnant but not having a care in the world. Pregnancy taught me so much in the realm of fueling my body properly after years of getting back on the tracks and I have been feeling good in general, but after this past week I remember there may never be finality in recovery. So here’s the honest truth: this week was the hardest I have had in a quite some time.

Oh, I am thankful to be a part of the running community, I believe I have purpose here, BUT its also a community that is susceptible to the enemies lies that we just aren’t good enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough to have influence, be fast enough, insert your place holder here. And maybe it’s the combination that at exactly 11 months postpartum I hit pre-baby weight and it felt like an overwhelm of this new journey beginning. Maybe it was an unfortunate culmination of several things including the intensity of social media during the pandemic. Or maybe it was a gift? As odd as it sounds…

Remembering that longevity, staying in the fight, being there for people around you never “finishes” you hopefully only get wiser, more trustworthy, build capacity to keep moving forward – with everyone – together.

So National Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2021 was a nice place holder for life, for the journey, and a great reminder that we are all in this indefinitely but for something far more beautiful: freedom and confidence that God designed us mentally and physically with careful consideration and beauty galore and the enemy can NEVER take that away. This isn’t meant to be discouraging, but encouraging in the ability to fight harder, stronger, and towards freedom.

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